**EMAIL ME AT memewowme@hotmail.com A general blog giving a bit of an insight into my life. I'm a BA (Hons) Media and Performance student and I love Martial Arts though haven't practiced for some time. READ THE RULES (BOTTOM OF PAGE, UNDER COPYRIGHT INFO) BEFORE POSTING COMMENTS **EMAIL ME AT memewowme@hotmail.com

20 February 2009

Wicca


I find it to be a beautiful religion. It can help people to get close to nature and to use their spiritual gifts more effectively. It encourages people to think about their actions and to take responsibility for their actions - but it doesn't make demands; it simply provides guidance.
I personally find it amazing that there in such guidance in only eight lines of text - guidance to avoid causing or contributing to harm as far as reasonably practical, guidance on what will happen (unless Jesus Christ intervenes) if a person does something bad, guidance on what will happen if a person does something good, guidance to meet in a merry way and part in a merry way; no hostilities. And even though it doesn't use the word 'forgive', it guides people not to hold grudes... because if they are holding a grudge against someone, then they are not exactly parting in a merry way are they?
I've almost (or nearly) tidied my room, and I'm going to make it look and feel more spiritual... lit candles in the room, incense burning, and other beauty. Then I'm going to take some advice that I actually got from reading some Quaker literature (it's a very interesting religion by the way) that I found in a Friends Meeting House (a place where Quakers meet) - I'm going to sit in silence. And perhaps, just perhaps, I will feel that small voice inside of me, the voice of our Creator.
By the way, another name for Quakerism is The Religious Society of Friends.

Graphic courtesy of Crystal Cloud Graphics.

19 February 2009

Brightest Blessings


I have decided to make this blog a bit more spiritual. Apart from when I decide to post something different, this blog will follow my path through the religion of Wicca - though in Wicca some (or perhaps much) information is kept secret. This is not because of anything sinister; it can be for a variety of reasons - for example, to help prevent people using magic dangerously, to help prevent people from running covens belonging to a particular Tradition of Wicca without being a fully-fledged Wiccan High Priest or High Priestess, or simply to avoid attacks from those who like to be ignorant and those who like to judge.

I am a solitary Wiccan but intend to join a coven. A solitary Wiccan is a Wiccan who has dedicated his or herself to the service of the Lord and Lady and the practice of Wicca but who has not been initiated into a specific coven (this can be for a variety of reasons, location being one of them); I have carried out a Wiccan dedication ceremony.

I first declared myself a Wiccan in April 2007. I have not practiced witchcraft as often as I could have, but I intend to practice more. In order to avoid dissipating the energy of a particular spell, I will not tell you what spell I have cast before it is complete - I might not tell you at all actually. But I will record any ways that I celebrate particular Wiccan festivals, except of course for any information that is not in the public domain (apart from general information (such as the area where a festival is held, eg. Manchester) that will not make it easy to locate more private information). If something is in a magazine or website only or mainly read by Wiccans and/or other Pagans, then I will not consider it to be in the public domain.

Graphic courtesy of Crystal Cloud Graphics.

18 February 2009

Ahh...

Since switching comment moderation on, I've received a few messages stating what I did was un-Wiccan (posting a certain person's identitity - they had decided to spam my blog and make posts revealing my name; I'm not bothered about people knowing my name but it's MY choice as to where and when I reveal it and posting it breaks the rule about posting info about other peoples' identities).

First, I would like to point out that I personally KNOW the person who's name I posted. Secondly, I am ashamed to admit those who sent me the comments are right. Two wrongs don't make a right - I certainly shouldn't have retaliated and what I did was certainly un-Wiccan. The full text of the Wiccan Rede is:

'Bide the Wiccan law ye must
In perfect love and perfect trust.
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfil:
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee,
So ever mind the law of three.
Follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.'

Clearly I broke the Wiccan Rede, as I did something that could be harmful and thus sent out negative energy. I am truly sorry to the person who I named and to Wiccans for potentially giving Wicca a bad name. I have not been put up to saying all of this, I have wrote it of my own accord. I ask for forgiveness, and I am sure that many other people (including the person I retaliated against) have done bad things and would like to be forgiven rather than have grudges held against them, but I understand if forgiveness is not granted.

Wicca is a peaceful religion that honours the Lord and Lady as equal parts of the Supreme Being. As far as reasonably practical, Wiccans are supposed to follow the Wiccan Rede, and witchcraft is used in Wicca for positive purposes such as healing and protection. Wiccans believe that whatever energy they send out, positive or negative, will return multiplied.
RE-EDITED: Looks like this blog will stay up after all.

14 February 2009

New post innit!

I thought I'd make a new post. Not exactly sure what to write, but here goes.

I've recently been to the U.S.A. to see my fiancée in person (she's American). She's beautiful, sensitive, caring, helpful, understanding, forgiving, and ace. I love her.

We went for walks, kissed, held each other's hands, hugged, went to the cinema, watched T.V. together, and saw Springhill's Mardi Gras. I got some free Mardi Gras beads and my baby gave me an MP3 player and MP3 speakers as a Christmas present (I gave her some stuff too - two things before Christmas and one after we met up in the U.S.A.). We're definitely soul mates.

I got to the U.S.A. the long way round, but I ain't complaining. I got a flight to Houston, Texas, then a Metro bus to the Dowton Houston Greyhound station (bad atmosphere in that station; felt like someone was going to try to rob me at any time), and a Greyhound Bus to Louisiana. I was asleep for most of the Greyhound journey. On the plane (my first time on a plane) there were some beautiful views.

I'm very happy I went there (to say the least) and I would happily live there.

I've been reading over the comments in an old post, and it reminded me to try to be nicer. I've been trying anyone, but maybe not as hard as I should have been. I need to remember not to bother with petty arguments.

I'm still a Wiccan, in fact I cast a spell before going to the U.S.A. to make sure I would be there with my soulmate in January. I decided not to tell anyone about it until after I'd got there, because talking about a spell before it's completed can dissipate its energy. I plan to improve my spiritual skills (such as witchcraft, meditiation, etc.). and to move back up to Salford (I'm currently living in a small town in Lincolnshire). I also plan to do a postgraduate course in September, and my baby is going to visit me in England sometime this year (we're both going to save up, but I've worked out that even if I was stuck on Jobseeker's Allowance, and even if only I saved up, there would still be enough money saved for my soulmate to visit me in England this year).

Anyway, thanks for reading, and Blessed Be.

23 December 2007

Flesh

I saw the dead flesh, and I enjoyed it.
I saw the mistreatment, and I did nothing.
I saw other people enjoying it, and I said nothing.
It's their choice, I said.
Who am I to impose my beliefs on them?, I said.

But after watching this video, I could no longer fail to speak out against the cruelty caused by humans to animals for no other reason than their tastebuds or an ignorant belief that they need to eat animal products.



Not only can I not stand by and allow this to happen to animals whilst not even trying to do anything about it, I can also not stand by and allow parents to cause such harm to their kids without even trying to do anything about it. And I will always be a vegan and will never knowingly eat dead flesh or any product of such barbarity as in the above video ever again.

20 November 2007

Spiritual 2

O.K. here's what happened, though I'm sure plenty of people will use this as an excuse to insult me but I'm not really bothered, I just feel that now is the right time to explain.

As you may have noticed from one or more earlier posts, for a long time I was not a Christian, but I believed in God. My permanent belief in God happened after I prayed and was helped, though I won't go into detail on here.

Some time afterwords, due to personal experience, I started to believe in Jesus Christ - though I was not sure whether he was God, the son of God, God's mate, or someone else. Anyway I believed in him for a long time and wore a silver cross for a long time (though not the same one as two or more got lost either from being attacked or in a fight or by me being a pleb and losing one of them). Anyway, for a long time despite believing in Jesus (don't say this makes me Christian - Muslims believe in Jesus you know), I thought Christians were talking bollocks when they said that Jesus was not only God, but the Father of Jesus and the son of God at the same time - I mean, seriously, what the heck? But I started to realise how that could make sense, though I won't explain it all as I'm sure if you want to figure it out, you can do (eventually).

Anyway, I knew a bit about Christianity so when I went on a long journey that I blogged about below, I wore my cross (as usual) and decided that if I needed any assistance on the way, I would go into a church or a Cathedral with my cross clearly visible (though of course Christians are supposed to help others regardless of their religion - after all, they're meant to lead people to Christ and they're hardly gonna do that by telling em to get lost because they're a Satanist for example - though I have never been a Satanist and never will be) and ask for assistance - and if it was refused, I would remind the priest or whoever was "in charge" of the services that Christians are supposed to help others. Anyway, I got plenty of assistance.

During the journey, I was given, possibly with some other things that I may have lost, a Christian-based leaflet as well as a book called 'The Good News told by Luke' - which is basically a selection of useful passages from the Book of Luke in the Bible (for example, there is a passage about continuing to ask people until you receive what you need even if you are at first turned away - or something like that anyway). At the back it has a list of pages to look at for when you feeling a particular way - sad, angry, confused, etc.. Admitedly not all of the passages seemed very helpful, but a lot were, so I read the book a lot and carried it around with me and it really helped me. Through this useful book, I started to try more to follow what Jesus Christ had been quoted as having said - don't judge, don't retaliate, etc.. - now I've not been that great at following what Jesus has been quoted as having said, but I've tried, though I can try harder and I intend to do so.

Anyway, Christianity seemed more and more to make sense. But of course you don't join a religion just because it makes sense. Science might make sense but it doesn't mean I'm going to become a scientists - although I'm sure there are some people who do join a religion purely because it makes sense.

For a long time, there seemed to be suggestions that I should join Christianity - little things that were said and done that seemed to be leading me that way, but I decided against joining the religion as I still didn't feel totally comfortable with it, despite noticing that one day when I was having a chat with a Muslim about religion and we partly talked about Christianity, I un/semi-consciously used the word 'we' when referring to Christians. But one day, I was reading the leaflet I referred to above. Note: the rest is probably gonna sound really weird to some people, but whatever.

I think I'd read the leaflet, or part of it, before. But this day, I got to a prayer, and something apart from the writing told me to say the prayer - out loud. So I did. And I got a spiritual feeling - a feeling that I was supposed to be Christian after all. But as weird as it may sound, I knew that when I got this feeling, even though it was a spiritual feeling (so it's not like I thought, "I'll be a Christian for a while then try another religion" - it was an actual spiritual feeling), I knew that my time as a Christian would be for at least one specific purpose and that I would not be Christian forever. What I didn't know, was how short a time I would be a Christian for.

Anyway, I went to a local church and asked about being Baptised into Christianity and specifically this church (Church of England). Though I was somewhat disappointed it wasn't full immersion as I thought it would be, I decided I would get Baptised at this church. The priest also asked if I would like to undergo something called Confirmation as well, and I did - there were several classes where we discussed the Bible, Bible themes, and Bible/Christian-related things like related videos. Turned out by the way, this priests didn't believe the Genesis story was totally accurate (yep, I know, that's what people are supposed to believe in the Anglican church) so I was not told I must believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God.

Anyway there was the Baptism and Confirmation ceremony, and I was "officially" a Christian. Anyway, reasons for why I had the spiritual feeling to become a Christian emerged, were dealt with or passed without me having dealt with them as I should have done (or seemed dealt with but weren't properly dealt with).

During my time reading the Bible, I found passages in the Old Testament that were, I considered, questionable to say the least (though it must be noted that Christians in general do not follow the Old Testament except perhaps for the Ten Commandments, as it was the Old Covenant with God and I'm sure most Christians wouldn't like the idea of having to kill their children for being rebellious (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) and I certainly don't believe a loving God, who supposed to be, according to Christians in general, the same God in the Old and New Testament (so therefore it doesn't matter if you follow the new testament, he's still a God who demanded this "punishment") would demand death of kids for such a thing - so my trust in the Bible as the word of God (apart from Exodus which was apparently a later addition to other books of the Bible, though don't quote me on that) was already being undon. As well as this, during my researching parts of the Bible, I was somehow led to pages on Paganism (capital P - the umbrella term for various religious paths that are considered to be 'earth-based' paths; not paganism using the meaning which applies to anyone who isn't a Christian) and eventually Wicca. And although I've come to find out it's not practiced by a lot of followers as I feel it is supposed to be, the religion sounded beautiful, with an apparent respect for animals (go to various Wiccan message boards and suggest on the boards that Wiccans are supposed to be at least vegetarians to see why I said 'apparent'), an apparent respect for nature, and an encouragement to practice magic, along with the ethic of 'If it harms none, do what you will' (said in slightly different ways but meaning the same thing) which means that a Wiccan is supposed to consider ways in which their action (or lack of action) may harm someone before they do (or don't do) something.

Anyway, eventually, I got a spiritual feeling that I was supposed to be a Wiccan, and that this is the religion I'm supposed to belong to for at least the rest of my current human life. And when I finally announced that I was a Wiccan, it felt like I'd came home - this was where I was supposed to be.

Now I want to make one thing clear: I still believe in Jesus, just not in exactly the same way as I did as a Christian. I believe he is one of many gods (perhaps they could be called 'deputy gods' - god aspects of the male aspect (who could perhaps be called the 'chief God') of the Supreme Being, whom I believe is made up of the aforementioned God as well as a Goddess).

So why still believe in Jesus at all? Well, he has helped me previously and he also came to me TWICE - once when I started to neglect him, and once to answer a very specific question. Both times were in dreams so people may say "they were only dreams", BUT the first dream was totally related to my life and made sense, and the second dream answered a question I had before I went to bed - and not only was it a very specific answer to my question, but I had set my alarm to wake up at a certain time and, unuasually, the dream lasted exactly the length of time needed for it to finish before I woke up.

So now if you see me standing outside participating in a Wiccan ritual whilst wearing a pentagram, you'll know why. And if you also see me cross myself, you'll also know why.

30 April 2007

Spiritual

I have decided to convert to the religion of Wicca. More at a later date (much later maybe), but I am now no longer associated with the Church of England, where I was baptised and confirmed.

EDIT: Spoke to a friend who was previously my priest, gave an explanation, and he seemed to understand - in fact he said that he had thought when I was being Confirmed that Christianity would not be the end of my spiritual journey. Full explanation will be posted on here at a later date (maybe much later).

03 February 2007

A very long article (you can skip the bits that are NOT in bold if you have a good knowledge of the Bible)


Though Christianity was once considered brutal (look up "The Crusades") and despite its stance on issues relating to gays, it has long been known as a ‘peaceful’ religion and rightly so.

In the Old Testament, there are numerous passages demanding death for the most minor of supposed ‘crimes’. But in the New Testament, Jesus overthrows some of these (don’t think He does? Read on). In Leviticus (a chapter known -by people who have actually read the Holy Bible anyway- for controversial passages) 24:20 (Old Testament), it is clearly stated that people should take “an eye for an eye” and a “tooth for a tooth”, in other words that whatever someone does to someone else, the punishment should be equal. However, in Matthew 5:38-39 (New Testament), Jesus clearly overthrows this rule, stating “Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also” – in other words, DON’T retaliate with the same punishment as preached in Leviticus 24:20.

So why the contradiction? Well there are two possible answers: A widely held belief is that the rules of the Old Testament formed a covenant with God during that period but that a new covenant was brought about by the more peaceful Old Testament. Another view (and one held by many liberal Christians) is that the Holy Bible was written by individuals in ancient times who were promoting their own evolving spiritual beliefs, but who were limited by their tribal culture and by their lack of scientific knowledge – thus the words of the Old Testament are NOT (or, at least, are not all) the words of God.

But in that case, why should liberal Christians believe any of the Holy Bible? Well, as stated before, Jesus overthrew at least one teaching of the Old Testament. He also told people that they should not hate their enemies (Matthew 5:44) and a number of other things that overthrew or modified things in the Old Testament. In other words, one of the reasons that Jesus came to earth was to correct dangerous teachings of the Old Testament (For example death for adultery – Leviticus 20:10, eye for an eye as stated above, etc.). In other words, the New Testament brought about a New covenant with God [even if you don’t believe in the idea of the Trinity, remember that Jesus stated that the words he spoke were his Father’s (“For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak.” – John 12:49) and in case you for some reason believe the Son of God may have lied, remember this passage, direct from the Creator (and in the New Testament): “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17)] .

So basically what we’ve got is a book that encourages peace (the Holy Bible). Some people even wear crosses or crucifixes or WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) bands to remind them to lead good Christian lives. If someone pisses you off, then, according to the Holy Scriptures, you’re not supposed to retaliate – you’re supposed to be peaceful; in fact a literal interpretation of the Bible would mean that you’re not supposed to do anything about an injustice that has happened upon you – in actual fact, you should not do anything about any evil, according to a literal interpretation of Matthew 5:38-39.

But Jesus used a lot of parables. He didn’t always speak literally. For example, he said “I am the bread of life” (John 6:35) and obviously Jesus isn’t literally a loaf of bread.

Therefore, the passage about not resisting evil should not be taken literally, especially as Jesus cast out demons from people (For example, Mark 9:25) and would be a hypocrite by resisting evil if He had literally meant that people should not resist evil.

Especially not now.

In the past few years, there has been injustice after injustice after injustice. The protestor Brian Haw (a lone, peaceful protestor, protesting against war) was intimated by police and arrested and evidence against the police was stolen by then (
http://www.indymedia.org.uk/en/2006/05/340346.html?c=on#c148411). An old man was arrested under the Terrorism Act because he made it clear, in a peaceful manner, that he believed something that Jack Straw said was a lie (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/09/29/nlab29.xml). The US President, George Bush, has people held in Guantanamo Bay’s prison where not even a single official charge has been brought against any of the detainees (presumably because there is no evidence against the men but George Bush has automatically decided that they [i]are[/i] terrorists and has publicly declared this with no basis whatsoever for such a statement) and where allegations of torture have been rampant. And of course, many more injustices.

So what do people do? Moan a bit. Grumble a bit. Some even *shock! horror!* express outrage. But how many get off their arses and do something about it? When the man who heckled Jack Straw was being thrown out of parliament, MPs (Members of Parliament) got angry and made sure people knew about it. But I can imagine something like that happening in a lecture theatre in a British University. A few muffled voices saying things like: “What’s going on?”, “They can’t throw him out for that can they?” and “I can’t believe they [the police] are doing that” then back to the lecture as though nothing has happened.

Basically what I’m saying is, when something like that happens, when the authorities overstep the mark and you’re part of a crowd of people, START SHOUTING. Start fighting with the authorities if necessary, after all, there’s a crowd of people who will start fighting the authorities too when they see other people from the crowd doing it.

Sure, you might be beaten up by the police. You might be arrested and put in a cell overnight. Depending on the severity of the fight against police, the cops might even try taking you to court. But at least you’ll have stood up for a person’s rights (and, by association, your rights). You might even get TV or newspaper coverage.

If the cops beat you up, use it against them. If you get put in a cell, use the time to get the facts in order so you can put the authorities in their place (that of protecting and serving the public, not of acting like a dictator). If you have to go to court, get a good lawyer (anyone charged with a criminal offence in England has a legal right to defend their self and if they can’t afford a solicitor then the state must pay for one).

But don’t let the authorities rule our lives. Because if you do, we won’t have lives worth living. We’ll be robots for the government.


Even Jesus demonstrated His anger once that what was supposed to be a house of prayer had been turned into a den of thieves: Matthew 21:12-13

27 November 2006

Christians are silly...

...that's what I used to think anyway. The whole Father and Son thing - how can you be your own Father? A long time ago I was discussing this with a good friend of mine, Brendan S. He didn't offer an explanation that satisfied me.

Yet he insisted that due to what I believed, I was a Christian (I believed in the existence of Jesus and believed that He had the power (or that invoking His name had the power) to get rid of evil spirits, but I didn't believe He was God or that He'd died for our sins).

But Brendan was still insistent. After I made it clear to him that he was offending me, he pretty much stopped insisting I was a Christian. But he still made it clear he believed I would one day become a Christian.

I was insistent I wouldn't - there's no way I would ever believe that God could be both Father and Son at the same time, so there was no way I'd ever join Christianity - however, I did continue to believe in God and to believe in a seperate being called Jesus.

Throughout my life I saw more evidence of the existence of God and came up with my own theories about Him - like maybe He's busy steering the planet while the Angels go around helping people if they can get there in time.

Further below is an article about a long journey I made from Salford to Southampton. During the journey I visited churches (to ask for assistance in getting to Southampton). At least one of those churches gave me a couple of leaflets. One leaflet I got was called "Why Jesus".

Now to sidetrack a minute, one day long before setting off on the Southampton journey but many years after I lived in the hostel that Brendan helped to run, I was finally really happy in relation to something - but then it seemed like it was all going wrong, and I would feel really bad pretty much forever. There are some things in my past I'm not proud of, and I figured a lot of the bad stuff that happened to me was some kind of punishment, as little as I may have considered that punishment to be, for those things. During the previously-referred-to moment when I went from really happy to feeling like I would feel really bad pretty much forever, I was on a computer in my university. I got up from the computer, went into the toilets, cried, and kicked/punched stuff.

I then cried out "Don't I deserve to be forgiven by now?!" or something very similar.

What happened words can not fairly describe. I felt the most amazing sense of peace flow over me, as if Jesus Himself was saying "I forgive you".

I then went back to the computer and almost immediately things took a turn for the better. But that's all I'm going to explain in relation to that story.

So anyway I started reading a book I'd been given by a church - it's called "Good News told by Luke" and is basically a coherent list of useful quotes from the Christian Bible's Book of Luke, with the passage numbers of where the same, or similar, passages appear in the Book of Matthew. And a lot of it made sense - don't judge people for example. I'd judged people before, only to find out a very deep reason why they had been acting the way they had been acting - and ending up feeling guilty about judging them. The book which I was reading was basically a good template for how to live your life peacefully.

But still I refused to join Christianity. Every so often I would consider it, only to reuke my thoughts - "it's a stupid religion", etc.

One day I read a leaflet that one of the aforementioned churches had given me. I'd read part of it before and thought it was a load of bollocks, but it still intrigued me. And one day I got to a page with a prayer on it. I said it out loud. And something stirred inside me - I suddenly realised (and this is gonna sound loony to a lot of non-religious people) that I was supposed to join Christianity.

And that (plus the research I did into the different denominations of Christianity, plus a feeling that I had that the Church of England's St Thomas Church, Pendleton was the right church for me to join) is why I was Baptised and Confirmed last night.

06 June 2006

Prevent cruelty. Start searching.


Donate WITHOUT SPENDING A PENNY. Now you can donate to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) without spending a penny (except normal internet charges, eg. your normal monthly fee) just by using the search engine at http://www.clickscount.co.uk - it's still not as effective as google, but it's getting there, and you can help them improve by clicking on the "help us improve" link at the bottom of the results. NOTE: The NSPCC is a UK charity for ENGLAND, WALES, NORTHERN IRELAND, AND THE CHANNEL ISLANDS.

The NSPCC does a lot of good work, including (but not limited to):

  • The creation and maintenance of a website where children ages 12-16 who live in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, or the Channel Islands can get advice and even have a private online chat with an NSPCC advisor. http://www.there4me.com
  • The creation of a "freecall" helpline for anyone concerned about a child. 0808 800 5000 - free from almost all payphones (some indoor payphones charge) and most landlines.
  • The creation of a useful website for those interested in helping the NSPCC or in finding out useful information in relation to child cruelty http://www.nspcc.org.uk
  • Large-scale campaigns (you've probably seen at least one of the television adverts) aimed at preventing/stopping cruelty to children. The most well-known is probably the Full Stop campaign - ambitious yes, and maybe some people think it's silly, but if it helps children in some way, then it's worth it http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/home/newsandcampaigns/fullstopcampaign.htm

All you have to do is click onto http://www.clickscount.co.uk/ and start searching. You can find out about ways to raise money for the NSPCC by visiting their main website: http://www.nspcc.org.uk/

02 June 2006

What am I doing?

As you may have noticed, I previously arranged to fight someone. I also threatened them, and insulted them (they insulted me first - however, two wrongs don't make a right).

Well, I'm actually sorry for it. I'm sorry for the threats. I'm sorry for the insults. Genuinely. And I'm actually glad nobody turned up, because then I would have beating someone up to be sorry for (presuming I won).

I heard these words in a movie (sister Act) once: "To err is human, to forgive is Divine". Now I'm not in any way suggesting that I'm Divine, but I forgive the people who have insulted me. I forgive the people who insulted my ex-girlfriend. I forgive those who threatened me.

As a person who believes in God and who looks to much of the bible's portrayal of Jesus as an example which I should try to follow (I am not christian by the way, I just find a lot of the bible's recordings of the apparent sayings of Jesus to make a lot of sense), I should be able to rise above insults and threats - whether they are on me or whether I am angered into considering such acts.

You might think that I'm saying this to try to cause some sort of a truce. Whilst that would be good, it's not the reason. You might think that I'm saying this to try to stop people being horrible towards me and my friends; also not the reason. You may think that this is some kind of trick - also not the case. I'm not bothered about the reasons people come up with for my writing this. I know why I wrote it, though I'm sure plenty of people will have plenty to say.

So at this point, you may think I've gone loopy. Nope. I went loopy a long time ago :-)

If you are a friend of mine (or even family), you may be thinking "PJ, what are you doing?! These people insulted you, and your ex-girlfriend, and you're apologising for doing the same!!! And forgiving them!!! What's wrong with you?!"

Well actually, I'm thinking a lot clearer than I have done in ages. The bible records that Jesus said some words as he died on the Cross: "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do". Well if God can forgive the people who killed his only Spiritual Son, then I can forgive those who insult me and my friends.

And as a good friend of mine once told me (and I may be paraphrasing here, as it was such a long time ago, but this is the general gist of it): When people do bad things, they feel they are justified. They may be completely wrong about being justified, but to themselves, they are justified. They see nothing wrong with what they are doing, because they feel justified in some way.

So to all the people out there who want to insult me: I will not insult you back. I will not fight you. I will not say horrible things about you. I will only do one thing:

Rise above it.

Thank-you to everyone who has stood by me and supported me, whatever I've been going through, and whatever I've had to try to deal with. And thank-you to God. Thank-you to Jesus. Thank-you to the Angels.

I love God.

31 May 2006

Annoyed.

Testing.

I'm seriously pissed off. As you can see if you read the comments on the article directly below this, someone arranged to fight me. They tried to give me short notice (presumably so they could get out of it) but I saw their comment and agreed in time.

I got to the location (back of Adelphi Building, as I'd said) just before 8, using the uni bus. I waited. And waited. And fucking waited. I waited until about 8:20pm. Nobody turned up (except a few scallies asking something about a bong). A red car drove past however - a very familiar-looking red car actually, and the people in it (didn't see them long enough to be able to tell who they all were) looked across to where I was waiting. I thought one of the people in the car may have been the person who was supposed to fight me, so my hopes had suddenly rise. But nobody came round the corner to fight me.

I haven't been to judo in ages. I haven't been to karate in ages. I haven't even sparred with anyone for ages. This was my chance to have a PROPER FIGHT and they chickened out. I know it may sound silly, but I was really looking forward to it - the same way a person may look forward to a good football match, after all, it's not like I would be randomly attacking anyone - it would have been a fight that had been mutually agreed to.

But nobody showed up to fight me. And now the little coward is trying to make it look like I didn't show. So it's a good job I brougt a couple of mates in case anything got too out of hand.. because it means I got them to write that they were there and that I waited. Here's the scanned images of what they wrote:

Witness number 1 (click picture to enlarge):




Witness number 2:


Anf finally, my own writing - in both normal and handwriting styles:


So as you can see, there two witnesses to the FACT that I turned up AT THE AGREED LOCATION and that the person who was supposedly going to fight me WIMPED OUT.

30 May 2006

My career...

Well, there's actually many things I want to be (actor, dancer, director, and more), but right now I'm concentrating on something for the NOISE Festival (http://www.noisefestival.com). I'd originally wanted to do a horror, but I didn't receive my activation e-mail and it would appear that the deadline's past :-(

However, I'm not a person to back away from a challenge, and I've decided to take on the challenge of doing a completely different style of filming, based on the projects that have had their deadlines extended.

I've yet to decide whether to do a news-style or documentary-style piece, but if it's documentary then I think I know who I will interview. If I go for the news-style route, I'm not sure what clip I will use (I have to use one of a selection) but I will definitely do something close to my heart - no made-up opinions from me. I was thinking of maybe a completely new take on the Iraq War (there's been so much news about it, and it's been going on for so long, it may be pointless to NOT do a new take on it) or something entirely different - I've not yet decided.

In case you're wondering, the original film was first going to be a kind of witchcraft film (NOT showing witches as bad people, for all you Pagans, Wiccas, and other Witches out there who are worried) but after a few modifications and indecisions, I decided on a one-man film instead - I was going to do some pretty good cheats to make it look like there was more than one character and some good editing to show two people having some kind of power fight. Oh yeh, and some darn good (but very lengthy - would be worth it though) filming to make a pretty awesome effect that a friend of mine suggested.

But on I go with the documentary-style or news-style piece - and it's gonna be friggin good! :-)

28 May 2006

What's it like being a COWARD?

Not surprisingly, I received some insulting responses to my previous article (titled "oops"). And not surprisingly, yet again, I've not had anything said to my face. Jus across a computer screen Anonymously. Cowardly.

Now at first I was angry that certain people would not say anything nasty to me in person but would be happy to say nasty things across a computer screen. I was angry that people could be so cowardly. But now, I'm curious what it's like to be scared. So scared of life, or people, in general, that you haven't even got the guts to say something bad to the face of a very slim person who looks* like he couldn't fight his way out a wet paper bag. I wonder what it's like to be unable to say something bad to even a person who matches that description. I wonder what it's like to be THAT scared.

Do these people avoid crossing the road until the green man comes on, even if the road's empty, because they're scared of being hit by a vehicle? Do they avoid drinking tap water in case it's not as clean as mineral water because they're scared of getting a bit ill? Do they avoid going out anywhere because they're scared of someone of the opposite sex fancying them?

And why are they so scared of little old me?

*Naturally I could fight my way out of a lot, I just look like I can't.

16 May 2006

oops

I went into what I call "baby mode" yesterday (it's technically the morning of Tuesday now) and spent £14.99 on a teddy bear.

It's kinda hard to explain baby mode, but I'll try:

Basically I think like a child. I'm not sure exactly why or how it happens, but I know being upset can trigger it. I can still do things that may be necessary of me as an adult (such as help people who need help) but I get kinda confused and ...I'm really having trouble explaining this... erm, I end up acting like a child sometimes.

Well it happened yesterday. I was at the Trafford Centre to buy some new clothes and just as places started to close, I went into baby mode. As I walked along towards the exit, I noticed a shop called "Bear Factory". I got really excited (like a child) and kept walking to try to find the stairs but there weren't any that way (except maybe exit stairs) so I turned around and when I saw the other stairs I ran. I got downstairs and asked if the shop was still open (for a split second I think I cam out of baby mode because I was originally going to just rush straight in) and one of the shop people told me they'd stopped stuffing, which confused me. I guess they meant stuffing the teddy bears (I didn't know they did that in the shop). But anyway, they were still open, and there were some teddy bears to my left. I saw a really cute one (quite big too) and bought him without even knowing how much he was (he was £14.99). I couldn't really afford to buy him after all the money I'd spent, but I was in baby mode so wasn't thinking logically and used my "VISA" card to pay for him. Fortunately I had a lot of cash left at home. The teddy bear I bought (my teddy bear now, yay!) is very cuddly (I cuddled him when I came out of the shop) and is male and is called George.

Anyway it's been getting really bad lately. I was in Tesco a few days ago and was in baby mode for so long I started crying. It felt like I couldn't get out of it. It's really weird because I know I'm in that mode, but can do nothing to control it. I'm getting really scared about it now.

Anyway if you see me in baby mode (and you suss that I'm in baby mode - it may not be obvious), just give me time to come out of it. And if I'm about to do something stupid like spend a load of money that I can't afford, please distract me somehow (for example by saying "let's play a game instead" if I announce I'm about to spend lotsa money on soya chocolate) or give me a hug (if I'm upset - a hug means loads to me, see my song near the bottom of this blog (it's the bottom article) to get a better understanding), thanks!

06 May 2006

The quran - a mistranslation?

First off, apologies for not approving comments earlier - I'm a very busy man ya know? :-)

Secondly, as mentioned near the bottom of this article, I had a couple of interesting dreams. They've changed my view on islam. I am still of the opinion it has what appears to be hateful message, even in its original, unaltered form, but as you may gather from this article, that might not mean that the quran was created by a hateful person, or that the quran is inherently evil. Confused? Think I'm talking out my backside? Then read on (whilst this is quite a long article, it needs to be read until the end to be fully understood)...

When any book is translated from one language into another, it will usually give the general gist of the general meaning. But becomes languages are not created in conjunction with one another, and because of the way each individual language develops over time, adding new words, using the same word for different meanings, a translation, however brilliant, can never be completely true to the original text.

The same is true of the quran – no matter how intelligent the person who translates it from Arabic to English, the English version will never show the exact meaning of the original, simply because of the way languages are created and used. For example, in an English version of the quran, there is a passage which states: “Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.” Sura number 4:34, chapter: The Women.

The above passage clearly states that a woman should be beaten if a man fears that the woman will leave him. However, this is, of course, translated from Arabic. The original word in Arabic can actually be translated into other words, apart from ‘beat’, which means that the passage may be actually advising men to do something different, rather than beat women.

In addition to the mistakes in translation, there is also the very real possibility of misinterpretation. For example, so-called ‘jihad’ (supposed ‘holy war’) is supported by the quran. But what certain people fail to recognise is that this is only allowed as a defensive measure – in other words, if you are being attacked or oppressed, you may defend yourself in this way. Now let’s take a look at suicide bombers: they believe, rightly, that the quran tells them that if they kill themselves as part of ‘jihad’, it will be an act of martyrdom – but what they fail to realise is that they are actually going against the quran when they bomb Western countries, as this is an attack on innocent humans who are not oppressing them and is not a defensive measure at all.

It could be argued that it is defensive in the sense that in the suicide bomber’s country of origin, they are being oppressed by Westerners, but the quran states that the burden of responsibility is on the person who is committing the act (of oppression, for example), not on people who happen to come from the same country but are actually not oppressing the people in the suicide bomber’s country of origin. The reason suicide bombers who kill innocent people (such as ordinary citizens living in England who have nothing to do with oppressing muslims, and even if they are related in some way because they are not deliberately trying to stop such oppression they are not actually taking part in or deliberately allowing such oppression – and as previously stated, the burden of responsibility is on the person committing the act, according to the quran) are going against the quran is because suicide is explicitly forbidden, unless it is a defensive measure against attackers – in other words, a muslim who bombs a Western country just because the oppressors in their own country happen to be Western, is not committing jihad in any way shape or form, but is actually murdering people and committing suicide, thus committing haram.

It could be said that, even in Arabic, the quran spreads a message of hate, nothing to do with God. Whilst whether the idea of whether the quran is in any way related to God is very much debatable, especially by people of other religions, does it really spread an overall message of hate? There may indeed be some passages in the quran that appear hateful even in the original Arabic form. But there are also verses within the christian bible that appear to spread a message of hate. But when one looks through the whole of the bible, it becomes evident that the overall message is one of peace – to love your neighbour, to forgive those who do bad things against you rather than seek revenge, to lend (money, for example) without expecting it back – therefore avoiding threats in relation to regaining the money. But if the quran and the bible both spread an overall message of peace, what of the hateful verses?

The ideas of mistranslation and misinterpretation have already been mentioned, but now we are concerned with the verses in their original Arabic form. The quran and the bible, whilst they may both have originated from God, were actually written down by other people – not by God. What God had said was written down by those who heard it (or at least by those who heard it and were told to write it down). And whilst the writers may have been able to read and write perfectly, they had to write down from memory. With regards to the quran, remember, mohammed was not revealed to be perfect – it is God who is considered perfect within the quran, and mohammed is considered to be a powerful being by the quran, but not perfect. This means that, even if mohammed himself wrote down what God had said, he still had to write down from memory, and it would be very unlikely that what he wrote would be exact – it would usually put across the general gist of the words, but would not be exact.

But if the quran puts across the general gist, doesn’t that mean that it is still pretty much what God had said? Perhaps not. Let's take the idea that men are supposed to maintain women, as written in the quran. Bearing in mind the fact that mohammed would have had to write this down from memory, what if God had actually said that men are supposed to look after women, eg. protect them, maintaining them (or their virtue) in this way, rather than exercising control over them? What if God had said that men are supposed to maintain women by protecting them? Mohammed, writing this down from memory, could easily have remembered this as just “men are supposed to maintain women”, as it very similar to “men are supposed to maintain women by protecting them”. It would be very easy, with so many revelations being told to mohammed, to forget the last few words. In addition, the idea that men are supposed to maintain women by way of protecting them rather than controlling them is not a new idea. Historically, women have been considered the “weaker sex” and have relied on men to be their protectors (though in certain cases men may have abused their position of trust, it is still true that they have been historically relied upon to protect women). This would fit perfectly with the idea that mohammed had simply forgotten the last few words about protecting women, and would not in any way suggest that the quran is not a Divine revelation – it would keep the idea that the quran is a divine revelation, but simply acknowledge (as stated by the quran its self) that no being is perfect except for God, and that any other being, not having the quality necessary to be perfect (the quality of being God), including mohammed, is capable of forgetting things, or parts of things, even when those things are revealed by God.

So what about the bible? Well, in actual fact, the same theory can apply to every other religion, except any that believe that God wrote their religious book personally by God's own hand. The idea that a person who receives a Divine revelation may forget part of it is not incomprehensible or unjustifiable, especially as the bible and the quran both state that no one other than God is perfect.

I had previously despised islam [not muslims themselves (though what I had stated was misinterpreted), just the religion, as it appeared, at first glace and first consideration, to be full of hate]. Recently, I had two dreams, both related to either islam or muslims, which, from what I can remember, were telling me not to view islam in such a way. Now I’m certain that these were revelations to me, whether Divine or not, telling me that basically what I was doing was actually not beneficial and may in fact be detrimental towards peace efforts – however, although these dreams were very significant, I can not remember all of the content of them – and I can hardly remember any of the first one. So if I was to write down what my dreams told me, I would be unable to write exactly what I had been told. I could write “my dreams told me to not say bad things about islam”, when in actual fact they may have told me to “not say bad things about islam” and to “say good things about islam”. If I forgot the latter part of the message, I would simply be avoiding criticism of islam, when in actual fact I should be promoting islam (if that is what my dreams had told me to do).

In the same way, as previously stated, it is easily possible that mohammed, not being perfect (otherwise, according to the quran, he would have to be God, as God is the only perfect being according to the quran) could have forgotten parts of what was revealed to him, or even the exact wording of what was revealed to him.

It’s not implausible. It’s not unjustifiable – in fact it’s easily justifiable. It fits perfectly with men’s history of being relied upon to protect women. And it’s supported by the quran its self.

Islamic Links:

And finally, a verse from the quran reminding men to treat women with respect (and no, I'm not a woman, as my genitals prove): O you who believe! it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against (their) will, and do not straiten them m order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. [Sura 4:19, Chapter: The Women]

P.S. And no, I haven't been brainwashed by anyone from the islamic religion. In fact, as far as I'm aware, I haven't had a conversation of more than a few words with any muslim for some time. Except perhaps in my dreams.

------------------

INFO: Pictures from IslamicFinder (http://www.islamicfinder.org/index.php). Whilst I do not personally believe that the quran is holy, and whilst I am uncertain as to whether the passages referred to in two of the pictures actually originated from God (one of the reasons I will never belong to ANY religion, though I will always believe in God), I thought the pictures were good because the messages were nice, which is one of the reasons I put them in this article. Original article printed by myself in a "Microsoft Word" document, then placed on this blog and modified, then pasted into Word and re-saved over the original article.

03 May 2006

proprietary genetic technology (TM)

I have decided to start using the term "proprietary genetic technology" as a trademark. It is currently in use by another company, but they are still in the patents pending stage. This means basically that they are warning people that the term, or whatever the term refers to, will become patented (if approved), but it does not actually prevent use of the term before it becomes patented, or before whatever it refers to becomes patented. The company is in the busines of cruelty to animals - messing about with the genes of cats under the guise of some kind of warped idea of "science".

Therefore, I am now using "proprietary genetic technology" as a trademark, and in my use of the term, it means something completely different from the use by the company previously referred to.

In my use of the term, proprietary genetic technologyTM is a type of paper, known as rice paper, that has been combined with water, squashed tomatoes (including pips), a screwdriver, banana skin, and the "C" button from a calculator.

23 April 2006

Are we becoming less human?

There was a time when people would run over to assist a person if they were being attacked, whether they knew that person or not.

And whilst the "old days" had many bad points, there were some good. There was more emphasis on community, with people playing games together - board games, hopscotch, or whatever game they could invent.

About a few minutes ago I was playing a game on the internet where the object was to fly a peper aeroplane without crashing it into objects, using vents and other heat sources to keep it flying. And the intro from freegamesonline.com got me thinking. It said "This is a nice little game reminding everyone of the childhood games, when kids make a plane out of paper and make it fly around! In this flash game you have to fly a paper plane around the house without crashing."

In my young childhood, I played football, learned how to do cartwheels, made paper aeroplanes, and did other stuff that stimulated my mind.

Computer games don't usually stimulate the mind. They just help you to react fast on a keyboard or joystick. There's no mental challenges - it's just a case of pressing buttons or moving a joystick around, avoiding objects, collecting them, or "killing" characters in the game.

So because there's no mental stimulous, the mind is essentially doing nothing. It is just sitting there, waiting to avoid objects. Like a robot really. Not like a human, who has been designed for various functions and who has the capacity to learn and hold a large amount of information (with the exception of SOME disabled persons).

And now, as has been evidenced in tests, people are a lot less willing to help others if they are being attacked. If it's not a case of "it's not my business", it's a case of being scared - because the human does not expect other humans to join the intervention to stop the attack. But it's not just when people are attacked. It's when a person looks like they could do some with some help. They may be sat on a bench crying. And people don't get involved.

Well, humans were devloped with compassion for a reason. So that we would be less likely to do bad things, but also so that we would be more likely to help those who are in need. But unfortunately, it seems we are turning into robots. All it would take is a simple "are you alright?" and then comforting the person if they say they're not alright or if they start explaining what's wrong. And I personally would ask "are you sure?... it's just you seemed a bit upset" if the answer was "yes".

But that would be a human thing to do. And we seem to be all turning into robots. Most people would just walk past, some not even realising there is a person in need of, at the very least, comfort, right next to them. For most people, it's a case of robotically walking past, possibly a glance over, then continuing without offering any kind of support. And even just seeing someone taking an interest in whether you are alright is better than nobody seeming to give a toss.

And as for intervening in attacks, that's also human. The robotic thing to do would be to walk away. Or to not bother backing up someone else who has intervened. If people would just back each other up, there would be no need (or much less need) to be scared.

And now people are getting addicted to computer games. Sat inside, pressing buttons or moving a stick. Not playing board games. Not playing twister with friends. Not playing marbles. Not playing hopscotch. Not making paper aeroplanes, not drawing, not making other objects... in fact, not really doing anything at all that stimulates the mind. Just sitting. Like a robot. And a rubbish one at that.


Hopscotch, anyone?

22 April 2006

Hi-ya!

I hadn't practiced any Martial Arts in ages, so I was worried I was geting a bit rusy.

But I just had chance to practice, and I feel fucking awesome! I'm definitely sure of my skills now, and I'm just waiting for some scally (or someone else) to attack me!

Smile...

Excerpt from an unfinished version of a recent assignment that I wrote.

Well, finally finished adding notes etc. to my friend's assignment.

It's past 9:21am now. I'm in one of the the all-night computer rooms at my university. I got a bit of sleep before, lying on the floor for a while. Nearly lay on chewing gum. Disgusting. And to think university students are thought to be intellgent... and then they go and do silly things like put chewing gum on the floor (or table, or chair, as I've unfortunately discovered it before).

Anyway it's about time I went home (about a 15-minute walk) and went to sleep properly. I'm glad I've got a bed. I'm glad I've got somewhere to stay. And I'm glad God exists.

Now that I've finished messing about making a picture for this article, it's past 9:40am. Peace.

*yawn*

Well, it's past 3am Saturday now and I'm still working on an assignment for a friend - just putting notes on it basically, not doing it for her, that would be cheating :-)

I've been taking random breaks to do other stuff (like play games... I get distracted easily) but I'm close to the end.

I'm going to be in a play with my university's drama society next week. Bad thing is, someone (dunno who was in charge) didn't book a venue in time so now we have to do it in some little room. And they're still charging full price, which I personally think is unfair. Also I didn't even know about it until it was too far into the script, and I'm not the sort of person who will let everyone down if I can avoid it, so there was no way I was going to decide not to do it by then.

But on the positive side, it's a pretty cool society. This little mess-up appears to be a one-off. I've worked with them before and took part in a variety show (where I completely trashed the dance moves at the end of one of the dances) and another play, and it's good to get to know other people. I know one or two already though because they share my seminar for one of my modules. And the more acting experience I get, the better my career prospects. And whilst they may be known for under-rehearsing, they usually do get stuff just about right - good show, good set, good venue, etc.

I ate some baby food today. I like baby food. The fruit ones. And I met a lovely girl. Actually I've already met lots of lovely girls - on my course.

Anyway filming on Monday and Tuesday. Then there's another rehearsal I think (not sure if it was cancelled - got a text before but it didn't arrive properly - NEVER buy a "Sagem" phone. The newer ones may look cool, but "Sagem" have no idea how to make phones that actually work PROPERLY), then I've got all my ordinary uni stuff to do, then I'm in a play three times. Pretty busy week.

21 April 2006

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Sometimes what we want to say can't be expressed in human language, or intellectual language. Sometimes the words are not there, sometimes whole sentences. For us to really say what our spiritual self wants to say, we need to use a language that has not been invented by mortals. Otherwise the translation can never be accurate.

29 March 2006

On my way to a First Class Degree

Wow. Like, I mean, wow. I'm kinda in a mixture of emotions at the moment.

My girlfriend broke up with me last night, which was really upsetting, but for the moment I'm kinda on a hyper because I just found out my grade for a recent assignment and it's good enough to be a First (the tutor can't give the percentage because of some kinda strike that I can't be bothered going into the details of, but it's a First anyway) - apparently it was so good they were worried I might have plagiarised!

Well, I can assure you, apart from the quotes (which were properly referenced), it was all my own work. Most of the people in the groups I've worked with this year have been brilliant (especially Simon L., I buzz off that dude! Some of his mannerism are kinda catchy though, like saying "yeah" three times instead of once, so I might look a bit like I'm copying him sometimes - which I'm not! At least not deliberately anyway), so that really helped my creative mood, and when my filestore (the place where I store my work on the university computers) crashed a while ago, I had to use a web-based alternative to Microsoft Word which looks WAY better (it's got cool chunky buttons and stuff!) called Writely (there's a small post about Writely somewhere below) which really inspired me. Oh yeh plus I watched a really cool film to use in the essay (this is a brill course - we get to watch films as a REQUIRED part of it!). Actually it's an ace course.

I fucking love this uni!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Go ahead, write all the sarcy comments you want (you know who you are), I don't give a toss! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pigeons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apple Juice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 March 2006

Stolen Identity

It's a good job I started this blog, even if some people don't like some things I've written. Because at least it means when someone tries to steal my identity on a message forum, I can log in to my blog then post a message saying that, to prove that the other person is NOT me, I will post a message on my blog.

SO: "PplusJ" on the Salford University main forum is NOT me.

pj123, however IS me. I had to sign up again because the "webmaster" as he likes to call himself to make himself feel better about himself banned me because he didn't agree with my views. He posted a "sticky" message (one that stays at the top of a message board) about rules against religion and politics and similar topics, and after that post I posted NO TOPIC about religion, politics, or any similar topic.

And as if I would choose a name like "PplusJ" anyway when I'm known as PJ.
Oh yeh and some-one who has been horrible to me since either the first or second week of uni is now pretending to be my friend. Pathetic.

27 March 2006

Emotions

I dunno what happened on Saturday. But I know it was weird.

I'd met up with my friend the day before and I slept over. Everything was going pretty cool, and I was asked if I wanted to come with tmy friend and her Mum to Bury the next day and I was well up for it.

So Saturday, we headed off. We got a bus to Bury. But somewhere during the journey, I was acting all hyper and my friend and her Mum made some comments about how if I was on a long coach trip with them they'd have to get off - meaning because of my hyperness. But for some reason, because of what they said, I felt like they didn't want me there. At the bottom of this blog is a song I wrote, and part of it says something about my head not working properly and me thinking like a child. Well I went into that mode. But even then, I'm still not sure why I go SO upset.

I honestly thought they didn't want me there (which is totally illogical since they've known me for a long time and I've even stayed over at their house a few times) and I got really upset, pressed the bell when the bus was getting near a stop, and got off the bus. I walked across the road to another bus stop and got a bus back towards Manchester. My friend texted me and I was even more upset because of what she wrote in her text, so I did what I don't think I've ever done to her before, and told her to "f*ck off" and that she'd ruined my day.

After a while, I needed fresh air (also I get very confused when I'm in my "baby mode" as I call it) and jumped off, though I had no idea where I was. Turned out I was in some jewish area. They all seem to wear black for some reason, apparently it's when they go to synagogues (a jewish place of worship). Anyway I sat on a wall and cried for a while, then snapped out of my baby mode. I looked for a phone box for a while because I wasn't able to text and didn't have enough credit to phone for as long as I needed to, but there wasn't one for quite a while. I finally found one, but someone was in it! I looked around a bit for another one, but there didn't seem to be any, so I waited.

Eventually my friend's Mum phoned me and put my friend on. I pologised and told her I didn't know what happened. Because I didn't. I not sure what the f*ck happened. I just got all upset for some reason and I don't even know why.

Anyway my friend asked me to come along to Bury (they were now there) and I did and we hugged and made up. They reckon it's hormonal. Apparently they didn't believe that guys could get hormonal, but apparently I'd just proved them wrong :)

Fortunately it pretty much worked out in the end. We went shopping, I had a few meat-style vegan sausages from Holland and Barratt (they were ready to eat) and my friend got stuff for her holiday. We went to her home for a while, and then went to town and into Tesco and she got a bus to go to her boyfriends. Next time I see her she'll have been to Italy.

And she gave me a teddy that looked like a leprechaun doing Irish dancing :)

17 March 2006

Do you believe in angels?


Angel picture from http://members.aol.com/Angelbeybe/

There have been many accounts of Angels, but do you believe in them?

I personally believe I do have a guardian Angel, but also receive help from God when I need it, when God's able to help me and when I deserve help from God.

Some people believe there is an individual Angel for each person, and some believe there are more than one Angel for each person. I believe that there's maybe one for every several people, which could explain why sometimes it seems that those who need and deserve help don't get any - because the Angel hasn't got there in time, though that's not due to lack of trying.

You may think I'm nuts, but even if you don't believe Angels exist, I'm sure almost every person, or every person, has some quirks about them, no matter how sane they seem usually. Plus, there's lots of evidence:

http://paranormal.about.com/library/bltales_angels.htm - individual stories

I've looked for links to news articles. If anyone can find any, please post them, thanks.


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Do you believe in angels?
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12 March 2006

They're not "suicide bombers" - they're murderers



When a person commits suicide, usually they don't intend to harm anyone else - though sometimes it might be the result of their actions, it isn't their intention.

But so-called "suicide bombers" are NOT suicide bombers. They are MASS MURDERERS. Just as a person who harms people when they commit suicide isn't necessarily a violent person, a person who happens to die as a result of mass murder isn't a person committing suicide. So why won't the media stop giving them nice-sounding names. What they have done is not in the name of God (though they like to pretend it is), as no sane religious person would believe that God -whoever they believe is God- would want people to harm His/Her children. I mean, how does someone logically go from "this person created these lives, so He/She must want them dead"? They can't. It's not logical. They simply want to murder.

And whilst I realise that not all muslims are murderers, those who are muslims are encouraged by the false promise of the koran that they will receive something like 72 virgins if they murder God's children. However, these same types of murderers also believe the koran when it says that a muslim who's flesh comes into contact with pig's blood at the time of their death shall be eternally damned. So this might help http://www.susbloodlabs.com/ (and yes, I do realise I'm vegan and against cruelty, but if one of these pens stops even one mass murder, then at least they've done some good).

But whatever religion or lack of religion the murderers are, that's exactly what they are - murderers, who are spitting in the face of God. So let's not call them anything else.

Man's BMW put him in serious danger... so he'll buy another one

Kevin Nicolle pictured.

I don't normally re-write news articles on here, but this was so good I had to. The good bit, I'll get to soon.

The bad bit: The throttle in Kevin Nicolle's R registration BMW automatic 318 car was stuck to the floor. He tried to slip the car into neutral, but the car was over-revving and red lining, so he couldn't do it. He could have turned off the ignition? Nope, actually he couldn't - if he had, it would have disabled the power steering - not good when you're on a high-speed motorway.
So he phoned the AA. He managed to jam his foot on the brake and keep the speed down to a steady 70 miles per hour (MPH). The AA told him to hang up straight away and call the police. He called 999 (the UK number for the Emergency Services) on his hands-free phone, who told him to put his hazard lights and headlights on and blow his horn so people knew what was going on, though I'm guessing most people, even though they may have seen the lights and heard the horn, didn't get out of his way, or/and thought he was deliberately speeding or drunk.
As he kept his foot on the pedal, the brakes burned out and the car went up to about 30MPH. He overtook someone on a VERGE on the OUTSIDE of the fast lane and once nearly T-boned another car that was trying to join from a slip road. As he neared a roundabout, there was a queue of cars and it looked like this was it. He managed to swerve round cars, but hit the roundabout and the car flipped on it's roof. The ordeal up to now had lasted for about 60 miles.

The good bit: While, most importantly, he survived and didn't suffer any major injuries. But the amazing bit is, though it was going at 130MPH and hit a roundabout and flipped over onto it's roof, the BMW protected him. I mean, for f*** sake, he escaped with MINOR injuries (the media use the term "unhurt", but they use it inaccurately - they still use it even if a person was hurt, as long as they didn't suffer any major injuries)! The car did set on fire, but that was apparently dealt with quickly enough and Kevin was pulled from his car relatively safely. It didn't smash into a big heap. It didn't cause him serious head injuries. It didn't break his back, neck, or any limbs. It PROTECTED HIM. It's like something out of an American real-life car chase movie (the kind where the car being chased hits well over a hundred MHP, crashes into a lorry, flips over, rolls down an embankment, flips over several more times, and the driver gets out of the car and starts legging it).

BMW offered to view the runaway vehicle. A spokesman claimed that everything points to this being a one-off, that the engine has a rev limiter and that they couldn't understand why the driver couldn't put the car into neutral and brake to a halt.

Original BBC story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4796264.stm

freenetname.co.uk is a FRAUD

As you've probably noticed, I haven't updated this blog for a long time. There's some stuff I wanna put on here, but I need permission first.

But I've decided to write this because freenetname.co.uk has SERIOUSLY pissed me off. I was looking for a free domain name (you know like cjb.net or .tk, but a more reliable and accessable one than those) and it seemed brilliant.

On freenetname.co.uk, you could apparently get a totally FREE .co.uk address. Sounds to good to be true, but I checked and checked and was really excited. All I'd have to do was sign up.

So I looked around the website for AGES trying to find a sign up link. Finally I realised: In order to get a supposedly "free" domain name from freenetname.co.uk, you have to PAY for a service from them first. They don't make this clear on the home page. They don't make this clear on the free domain names page. In fact, they go out of their way to make this as UNCLEAR as possoble, in the apparent hope taht eventually, after looking around for ages, you'll get so frustrated that you'll join up just so you can get a domain name.

Well they can PISS OFF.

26 February 2006

Am I talking rubbish about islam?

If you think so, visit this link, from a site SUPPORTING islam: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544134

Notice the part which says a person who leaves islam is to be killed. No wonder there's so many muslims if they are killed for leaving islam. Whilst some religions ostracise followers who have left the religion (shun them, don't communicate with, and expect their families to do the same - this is also something which I don't agree with), can someone name any other major religion where the REQUIRED punishment for those who leave is murder?

Remember, this is coming from a site that SUPPORTS islam - so you can't say it's biased against muslims.

This site however, doesn't seem to support islam but also doesn't condemn muslims: http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/

If you are muslim, I'm guessing you already have a koran. You can compare the koran with the bible at http://www.biblegateway.com. I'm not religious, and I believe much of the bible is a load of rubbish, though I read the online bible every so often when I'm bored, and this is a brilliant quote: "...Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44)

22 February 2006

FASCISM AND LIES at Salford University...

This is not a picture of the University of Salford. I just wanted to add a picture.

If you scroll down the page, you'll see the heading "The Muslim Article". Originally, this was basically saying the same thing as it is saying now, except for the addition of me stating my belief that islam is not a valid religion, as well as a section telling the muslims who called for terrorist attacks after the mohammed cartoon that they were doing their "religion" no favours.

But the "webmaster" controlling the Message Boards at the University of Salford didn't like it. So he deleted a post on those message boards which contained a link to this blog. Even AFTER the post was changed (twice) -but believe me, that decision had NOTHING to do with him- he continues to delete any post with this blog's link - even when such a link was part of a post encouraging people to fight for their rights.

Maybe that doesn't sound too bad, except for two things:
1. When any other religion was mentioned, posts were not deleted. It's clearly a case of "if you say anything about this religion, I will delete it because I don't want people to decide not to follow islam. It's the "true" religion. If you say anything else, I will censor it. You have no right to free speech."
2. The webmaster has now decided to start spreading lies. No kidding - the University of Salford's webmaster is spreading LIES. He has falsely claimed that the original (deleted) post (and therefore, this blog) on the message boards was an attack -an "outright attack"- on islam. Which it clearly wasn't - not one student has agreed with the webmaster. See the fifth post from the bottom (including the quoted section) on this page (click here).

Fascism and lies at Salford Uni... what next, Communist government?

14 February 2006

FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHTS!

This post has been MOVED to http://www.fightingforyourrights.blogspot.com/

08 February 2006

The muslim article


The picture has been removed because for all I know, despite the koran making mohammed out to be a horrible person, for all I know he could have been a prophet. I think not, but it's possible. And yeh, I know God and Jesus have been mocked, but I wouldn't do it myself. So I think it's hypocritical of me to mock different religions just because I don't agree with them. But I do think it's important that if a religion is dangerous, or I believe a religion is dangerous (even if I may be wrong) to say something about it, instead of withholding my views just to avoid offending people.

Sorry folks, but I've decided to edit this article - this is because if muslims find what I've written offensive, they may decide to be more determined to do the opposite of what I wanted. But to try to succeed with what I wanted to do, I've left the links up. Please remember that muslims in general are NOT terrorists, whatever violent messages the koran may have - besides, using violence against muslims will only create more violence towards non-muslims. Let's show those who took part in the protests that we (peaceful muslims as well as non-muslims) will not stoop to their level. Another war would NOT be a good thing. I have left the picture up because there have been many portrayals of God and Jesus that have been designed to mock them (such as the spoof version of Jerry Springer). Whilst I found these insulting, they were still shown, despite objections from many people. I don't see why islam should get special rights. In the interests of fairness and equality, the picture stays.

A while ago I was talking to someone who had been part of a particular religion for many years, yet I STILL managed to help him start to realise that maybe his religion wasn't so great after all. It takes a lot, and may take many weeks or months, possibly even years, but if you show people the evidence, it's possible to get them to change, just as people have been tricked into joining islam.

Many muslims are peaceful people and are muslims either because they were brought up as muslims or because they believe islam is a peaceful religion - show them the passages in the koran that show that islam is NOT a peaceful religion, but make sure you have the whole chapter ready so that when they can say "it's been taken out of context", you can show them EXACTLY what context it is in. Online English translations of the koran are available at http://www.hti.umich.edu/k/koran/ and http://web.umr.edu/~msaumr/Quran/ and if the person you are speaking to says it's been translated wrong, point out that these are two independent translations and ask them to read the same chapter (the chapter which you are referring to) in their own (arabic, so they can't say it's been wrongly translated) koran.

TO ALL THE PEACEFUL MUSLIMS OUT THERE WHO THINK THAT ISLAM IS A LOVING TOLERANT RELIGION AND THAT IT IS THE ONLY "TRUE" RELIGION, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ YOUR KORAN COMPLETELY. AND IF YOU HAVE AN ENGLISH VERSION, PLEASE CHECK OTHER TRANSLATIONS AS TRANSLATIONS DO NOT USUALLY GIVE THE EXACT MEANING OF SOMETHING (THEY JUST GIVE THE CLOSEST WORD OR SENTENCE). Check out http://www.hti.umich.edu/k/koran/ and http://web.umr.edu/~msaumr/Quran/ - both offer English translations of the koran.

If you want to leave islam, there is help out there. For example, http://www.apostatesofislam.com/forum/ and there is MORE ABOUT THE BAD SIDE OF ISLAM on this page (second post): http://www.apostatesofislam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1649

Up to MY second comment, the comments on this article are about the FIRST muslim article. I have deleted the first in case it encourages violence (but have saved it in case someone gives me a good reason to put it back). Up to MY third comment, the rest of the comments (after my second comment) are about the article that was here BEFORE this one.

28 January 2006

FOR SALE: ONE RIGHT ARM


Temporary sale that is. Some people would give their right arm for the people they love. I'm giving mine for a bit of cash. See, my finances are in a bit of trouble at the moment, and I need to be able to stay on at university, eat, pay rent, and help other people out.

Here's how it works: you send me an offer at
memewowme@hotmail.com. If I'm agreeable to your offer, I'll reply to your e-mail, then you will have bought my right arm for whetever period is agreed (up to four weeks consisting of 3 days a week - this is negotiable). At the end of the agreed period of sale, I'll need my arm back. You'll be able to:

  • Paint my arm whatever colour you want (including pink)
  • Use my arm to make tea/coffee (I'll throw in my left one too)
  • Use my arm to frighten people (could have it hidden behind your couch/sofa/settee and have it pop up at certain moments)
  • Use my arm to stick a bit of foil in the back of your T.V. if your aerial isn't working
  • Make my arm carry your shopping
  • Advertise on my arm

And pretty much whatever else you can think of, as long it's not permanent (no, you can't tattoo it!), seriously illegal (it's not to be used as a murder weapon), or seriously immoral, and as long as it stays attached to me. And as long as it's not gross (I aint sticking it in dog mess). The temporary sale of my right arm includes:

  • My hand
  • My fingers
  • My left arm

You must live somewhere in Greater Manchester, England. The sale does not include all of my upper arm.

SEND OFFERS NOW! memewowme@hotmail.com

P.S. the pic above is a picture of my left arm - I haven't got a good enough photo of my right arm, but it's very similar. No refunds :-)

...is Microsoft Word (sorta) FREE now (sorta)?

Well, not exactly, but something that comes very close, though it might not remain free (if it does, only the basic version may be free) is available. It only has an American-English spellchecker and there doesn't seem to be an option to "redo" stuff after undoing it [you can undo stuff by pressing holding down CTRL or CONTROL and pressing Z (while still holding down CTRL) on a Microsoft/Windows Computer (on Apple it's the weird squiggly symbol I think instead of CTRL)] and it prints a bit different (you have to press the picture instead of going to the normal print menu though), but it's great for using when you need something similar to Microsfot Word and you haven't got access.

It's called Writely (http://www.writely.com)

You have to use Writely's own buttons for some functions (instead of keyboard shortcuts or the usual menus) but it's still a pretty useful thing. To sign up, all you need is an e-mail address and a password. No downloads, it's web-based.

Don't forget to go to your e-mail and look for a confirmation e-mail after signing up.

Picture in this article is copyright http://www.writely.com

27 January 2006

Who says it's art?

See that picture above? To me, it looks like a load of brown rubbish (resembling poo) on a big green sheet. It looks to me like someone's got something green (like a big green sheet) and threw some sticks and a bit of mud on it. Not exactly challenging or telented.

To be fair, it's a photo of something, so it might have partially been created by nature and therefore may not be a person pretending to be an artist by throwing stuff on a sheet. But some time ago, I went to a museum/art gallery. And in the centre of the room, it had a big sheet that had been pissed on. No kidding. It looked like someone had got drunk, found a big sheet somewhere, and thought "I've got an idea - I'll piss all over this sheet and see if art galleries really are silly enough to accept it". I bet they were shocked when it actually worked.

I mean, for fuck sake, it's PISS on A SHEET. Not talented. I don't care about the "direction of the urine represents the artist's feelings" and all that. It's NOT art. Whoever said it is should be fired. Or given new glasses.

***UPDATING FINISHED. Due to some errors in updating, ALL THE ARTICLES AND COMMENTS HAVE THE SAME TIMESTAMP. Not because they're fake, but because I've had to re-post deleted stuff, including comments by different people.

26 January 2006

Animal Charm

Have you ever been feeling pretty crap, then you saw a squirrel, and it cheered you up? I have.

As daft as it might sound, to me, animals have some sort of special charm. I used to want to protect them more than humans when I was a teenager, and I still want to protect them now (though I consider human lives more important than I did as a teenager).

There's been many times when I've been really upset. This usually results in me going to Sainsbury's and buying loads of soya chocolate that I can't afford (79p a bar, freakin rip-off!). But sometimes I'll be really upset, and I'll see a squirrel, or a fox (my uni's near a lot of trees and grass and stuff and the main campus is near a river, so there's plenty of places for small animals to call "home").

And, perhaps amazingly, I feel better. Maybe it's the "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" factor, but something about animals changes my mood instantly (except flies and similar creatures when there's loads of them or they land in my gob - gross).

And this is even though I got scared a fox was gonna attack me once. Normally when it looks like an animal's about to attack me, I'll either tell him/her to "f*ck off" in a very loud voice, or do some strange animal noise that usually seems to work [a flock -are they called a flock?- of geese were coming after me once after I'd fed them something (bread I think) and I was nearing a dead end - I think my natural defence mechanisms took over and I made some weird noise, really loudly, and they backed off - I bet most people won't believe that, but it was flippin amazing!], but the fox was having none of it. I tried calmy walking away, but I guess he/she had smelled my fear. I tried chasing and then quickly getting away, but the fox came back after me. And human teeth are no match for a foxes (not that I want to bite into fur/fox anyway). So eventually I had to chase him/her as far as possible, then leg it as far as possible before she/he turned round. It seemed to work.

I think my favourite animal is a lion - they're kinda like cats that they can slip through spaces they appear to big for, and they're quite strong characters. Physically I'm not that strong (but I am stronger than I first appear to be to most people), but if I get an idea in my head, it usually stays there until it's been realised.


I know she/he is a tiger but I couldn't find a lion :-)


Pictures on this article provided by http://www.bigfoto.com

Are dolphins angels?


Dolphins have been known to attack people, but those attacks seem to be for good reason, for example if they are being pestered (not all of them enjoy being stroked or are happy with you swimming near their young). Also, I'm willing to bet they're not particularly happy when they are caught in nets from fishing boats or when, as might be the case in the second example in the links below in this story, they are harmed after they've save lives.

For the most part, dolphins seem to be really special creatures, with the ability to frighten off killer sharks. They've defended many humans, and one account that sticks in my mind is that of a man who was pulled under the water twice by a shark, and prayed when he emerged after the second attack, expecting to be pulled under again, believing he was about to die this time. So what happened when the shark pulled him under the third time? Nothing, because it didn't pull him under. A school of dolphins now surrounded him and guided him back to land (which, if you don't believe dolphins are intelligent, is a bit mad when you think about it, the dolphins knowing that he was not a sea creature and that he would be better able to get assistance on land).

So are dolphins angels of the sea? I don't know, but I'm pretty certain they're some kind of guardians, perhaps like the people who call themselves the "Guardian Angels" in New York subways (I think they're in New York anyway). Or maybe they're kind of like the police. The Sea Police.

Here's a few stories of dolphins saving lives...

There are plenty more, just look on google.co.uk. Unless you're in China, because google have agreed to block access to websites that have anything to do with Human Rights so that Chinese citizens find it harder to look at them. It seems google want Chinese citizens to be abused. In fact, don't use google. Use msn.co.uk instead. So why am I using google for the adverts above? Because it means I can make money from them without giving them a thing.








Do you think dolphins are angels of the sea?
Yes
No
I think they are the police of the sea, in a similar way to human police
I think they are an emergency response team




Free polls from Pollhost.com

Be happy...

...with what you've got. Sure's it's freezing outside. Maybe you have to start work again to pay the bills and to buy food etc.. Maybe you want to be rich. But think about this...

Until I went on a journey some time ago, I was complaining about pretty much everything - the weather, lack of money, quality of my accommodation, etc. But one day I found myself going on a journey from Salford to Southampton - by bike. Not motorbike, pedal bike (I'm going to refer to it as "my bike" for ease, even though I actually borrowed it from someone else). It's over 200 miles. Salford Precinct to Manchester is only about 2 miles. So it was a loooong way. (I had a very good reason for this journey, but that won't be revealed here). Here's how it went...

IMPORTANT NOTE: DO NOT ACCEPT LIFTS FROM STRANGERS. THE REASON I DID (APART FROM BEING DESPERATE FOR ASSISTANCE) IS BECAUSE I'M A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE HIMSELF VERY WELL IN AN ATTACK SITUATION. NOT JUST THROUGH EFFECTIVE SELF-DEFENCE TECHNIQUES, BUT ALSO THROUGH THE WAY I RESPOND PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, AND MENTALLY. ACCEPTING A LIFT OFF A STRANGER COULD RESULT IN MURDER OR WORSE (BUT HOPEFULLY IT WON'T).

If you get a lift from a stranger, you could end up here. Or somewhere else that looks very similar (another graveyard).

I got some directions (which turned out to be somewhat innacurate) from the AA's website, set off walking, then went back and borrowed someone's pedal pike. I'd taken a bag with me, full of as much clothes and supplies as I could fit in it. I took what little money I had (probably a few quid at most) and what little food I had, plus a bottle full of water that I intended to re-fill during my journey. Due to some wrong information (I was told that Salford Precinct to Manchester was 5 miles, and I'd walked that far in an hour before), I figured I could easily get to Southampton in a couple of days at the most. I was wrong.

After riding for some time, it began to get dark. I had nowhere to sleep, so I slept under a bus shelter. It was one of those old-style rural bus shelters made out of brick with walls round the side which extended round to the front a bit, so I figured I'd be warm enough, but even with my coat over me (I was using it as a blanket), I was freezing. The next day, I headed off again. My memory's somewhat sketchy now, so I'll just reveal certain things. I remember getting a puncture whilst in Lime Green (possibly before I arrived there) so I decided to wait for a church to open to see if they could help. I kind of lied about my real reason for being there, pretending I wanted to hear the service for inspiration (well I did want a bit of inspiration, but I also wanted assistance).

Anyway I listened to the service, which conveniently happened to be about helping others, so after the service they asked if there was anything they could do for me and I subtly mentioned the puncture. They fixed it for me and I headed off again. I'm not sure how far I got before nightfall, but I think I made good progress as I remember getting at least one lift (a bit difficult with a bike).

I'm not quite sure where this happened, but I remember gtting stuck on an A road - unkown to me prior to setting off, a lot of A Roads have no pavement. And I got stuck because this one didn't even have a grass verge, it was night, there was a ridiculous speed limit (it's 50 miles per hour on many A roads, even when they have no pavement and no lampposts) and I had no lights on my bike. I was really upset and had no idea what to do, so I prayed. And God helped me. Shortly after praying, a camper van turned up with two men in it, asking if I was O.K.. I think I said I was at first, but they insisted on making sure, so I gave them brief details of my situation regarding the A road. They gave me a lift and I think I might have told them where my eventual destination was. One of them offered to let me stay at his place for the night (an offer I accepted, perhaps dangerously due to what could have happened to me in the privacy of his home if he had turned out to be some kind of attacker), but after they made a few phone calls they paid for a hotel room, even paid for my breakfast through the hotel when they paid for the room, and prayed for me. If they're reading this, I got there and back safely and if they contact me in a few months (I'll make sure my current, accurate e-mail address is listed then), I will be working and I'll be able to repay them.

I saw a few deers and stags on my journey

I spent one or two nights sleeping rough in Coventry. I remember sleeping outside one church behind bushes, but it was pretty open apart from them, so was very scary. I longed to be back in Salford and to have my next student loan installment, which wasn't due yet. I phoned my girlfriend, but due to dehydration and lack of nutrition (well, lack of food actually but I'm sure lack of nutrition would have done the same), my voice had changed completely so it was really frightening when my girlfriend wouldn't believe it was me at first and I desperately needed her to believe me. Finally I managed to convince her.

In the morning (maybe the afternoon, I'm not sure), I went to a Catholic church (for some reason Catholic churches seem less welcoming than Christian ones, but I did get some assistance - if they had refused to help me in anyway I would have tactfully pointed out that they're supposed to be serving God, or something like that) and I was given a lift further towards my destination. Somehow I ended up near a Service Station. My bike now had a puncture, so I decided to see if I could leave it with someone and return for it "later" ("later" actually meaning at least days later, though I never did go back to pick it up and I'm not bothered about it now). I tried to walk the rest of the way but roadworks made things difficult. I tried writing signs with a destination on them and holding them up at passing vehicles, but no-one helped. I went back into the Service Station (it was a sort of shopping village combined with a service station, quite peculiar considering it's location was just off a motorway). I was refused a lift by two women, but I reacted calmly because I understood their concerns and reacting badly wouldn't have helped me get a lift if other potential helpers saw me reacting badly. So I asked at least one other person and received a lift and ended up in Oxford.

To find churches (and cathedrals, but I called them all "churches"), as well as asking people if there were any nearby, I looked for crosses and metal poles (I called them spires, but apparently a spire is the tall cone-shape that some churches have, NOT the metal bit that sticks out of the cone at the top - not all have cone-shaped rooves, some have flat or triangular rooves) sticking up above other buildings. I also looked for buildings with just towers (no cross or metal pole at the top). Some buildings turned out not to be churches, but most were. I'm glad they don't all only open on Sundays!

Now I just had to go through Reading then the next major city I would reach would be Southampton (I think, though there may have been another city after or before Reading that I would have had to go through). Whilst in Oxford (which, by the way, is a city where nobody seems to know where anything is - I was told that the only phone boxes nearby were the ones I had just tried to use which weren't working properly, despite the fact there were more just a short walk away), I slept in a fairly secluded area of the grounds of a church. I went to another Catholic church (again, very scary) who didn't think I would need much for a bus to Reading (I told them I needed to get to Reading or Southampton, if I was in Reading then at least I would be significantly nearer to Southampton) so gave me £5 (which I said I would return, and though it may be well overdue, I will do).

It turned out the "buses" in Oxford are actually coaches and cost a heck of a lot. Fortunately I was helped by a Baptist Church. Understandably, it was their policy not to give money, but they paid for a coach ticket, which is the best thing that happened to me during the journey - I was finally going to arrive in Southampton.

After arriving in Southampton and dealing with the reason I was there, I still had to wait for my student loan payment and had nowhere to sleep, so I asked a church person if I could sleep in the church. He told me I couldn't for insurance reasons, but still wanted to help me, even though he had a very important prior engagement. Unfortunately his knowledge was quite outdated, but he did finally manage to find me somewhere to stay.

The place I stayed in was basic, but it was warm and I had a roof over my head and was given food. But still I longed to be back in Salford, with plenty of money (which I didn't have until I received my student loan payment on the day I left the place that the church had found for me to stay in). But it was a horrible shock when I realised my student loan wouldn't be available when I thought it would be (I think I had to wait an extra couple of days), so rather than try to trick the people who ran the place I was staying at, I decided to tell them about the situation (that I had worked out the date wrong) and it was agreed that I could stay the extra nights. Finally my loan arrived and I was extremely happy. I was able to go back to Salford, and I did.

Sometime after the event, I ended up without accommodation, but someone offered me a place to stay. It was freezing, there was no hot water, and nothing to cook on. It was also very messy and full of flies. I had enough money to get some fly spray, so I killed most of them, possibly all of them. But it was still messy, I had hardly any money, little food, and it was still freezing and still had no hot water and no way of cooking. But it was a roof over my head. I had little money, but I HAD MONEY. I could buy cheap biscuits to eat. My Mother also lent me money, as did my brother, so I managed to buy different foods - still very cheap and of little amounts, plus not very nutritious, but I HAD FOOD. The only water I had was cold, but it was better than nothing, plus I could boil kettles. It took a long time to boil enough kettles for a bath, but I HAD A WAY OF STAYING CLEAN. I also bought cheap drinks (such as the 1-litre bottles of orange cordial that you can get for around 20p). I HAD SOMETHING TO DRINK. I was cold when I stayed there but I could put a blanket over me and get warm. I could also stay, sometimes at least, at the 24-hour building that my university has, in the warm 24-hour computer room. I HAD A WAY TO STAY WARM. During the daytime, I could sleep in empty rooms in another of my university's buildings by pushing something against the door to keep people out (it was also vacation period so there was hardly anyone in the campus). I HAD SOMEWHERE TO SLEEP. My point is, though there was lots of things I could have complained about during the period I had no accommodation, my Salford-to-Southampton had helped me to realise that there was a lot I had that others didn't have. Food, somewhere to shelter from the weather, a way to get warm, somewhere to sleep, food, and money. Small amounts of food and money, but at least I had it.

So next time you feel like moaning about somebody, or something, think of all the things you take for granted, then think of all the people who don't have those things (children starving in other countries? homeless people in our country who only drink because it keeps them warm or blocks out the pain of what made them homeless and who either can not get, or do not know about, help from homelessness organisations? people poorer than yourself?), then think of the things you take for granted again, and instead of thinking "I hate that I don't have this" or "I hate that I don't have more of this", think "I'm glad that AT LEAST I'VE GOT THIS". I thought I was poor when I was living on Income Support. But in comparison to what I was living on for certain periods in my life, I had plenty of money. And at least it was a regular income that only had to last one week before the next payment.

I've got money, I've got somewhere to stay, I've got food, I've got drink, I've got a warm room (and even when it gets cold, I've got a blanket and more clothes), I've got a television that doesn't receive a good signal, I've got glasses, and, most importantly, I've got love. The love of my family and my friends. And a lot of support. And I'm greatful for it all.

The few are smarter than the many...

Some people believe that if most people agree with something, it must be correct... but let's look at the evidence...

Western Society, in general, today would no doubt condemn slavery as unjust and unfair to say the least. But in time long ago, most people accepted it as being an "acceptable" thing to do, to treat another person as a slave without any respect for their moral rights. In fact it was not so long ago that rape within marriage was legal because wives were considered to be the "property" of males. And whilst these things were happening, it was the FEW who spoke up - Women's Rights groups such as the Suffragettes who were tiny in comparison to the mount of people with England alone, let alone the whole U.K.. After some time and a lot of pressure, people began to realise that the way they were treating certain people was wrong, and things changed.

Before the 1950's, it was acceptable to segregate whites and blacks. Some people may say "what's wrong with that? the whites had it the same as the blacks" but in reality they didn't - whites had more rights. If a "Whites Seating Area" of a bus was full and a white person boarded, a black person in the "Blacks Seating Area" was expected to give up their seat to the white person. And there were other examples of blacks getting a worse deal. But the majority of the population, at least the majority of the white population, accepted it and seemed to see nothing wrong with it. But then the few spoke up - after protests began against segregation, white people eventually started supporting the black people, but the white supporters were few in number at first, even though what they were saying was right - that blacks deserved equal treatment. Eventually they changed other peoples' opinions and changed the country. Yet another example of the few proving they are smarter than the many.

Of course there are cases where the many are correct, and the few who are wrong. But just because a lot of people agree with something - some action, some words, etc - it doesn't mean they're right.

Genital Mutilation (aka "circumcision") has been practiced on infants, without their consent (not that they could give informed consent anyway due to their ages) for years. Female Genital Mutilation has been outlawed in a lot of places, but boys still suffer, even in supposedly "civilised" Western Society. Excuses given include fake "medical" reasons, religious reasons (even where the religious book of a particular religion doesn't suggest circumcision - the Quran does not suggest it yet religion is an excuse many Muslims jump to for genitally mutilating their children. At this point I want to make it clear I am not attacking Muslims. On the whole, in my experience, Muslims are peaceful persons. I am however attacking a certain practice of that religion, just as I would if those referred to are not Muslim. And I do feel that some (not all) Muslims are misguided in some of their beliefs), and even tradition. But the few are speaking out, telling people that it is wrong to harm a child and that religion and tradition can never justify mutilating a child, nor can medical reasons which are deliberately fake or a result of misinformation. The few realise that, whatever the excuse, mutilating any child is wrong. Yet the many say it's not. The few are right.

Why should vegetarians and vegans go hungry in a crisis?

When a crisis happens, and people desperately need food, other people seem to have the view that "if they were hungry, they'd eat it". Well I think it's pretty clear that if a person has no food, they are hungry. Refusing to eat food that is not suitable for them doesn't mean they are not hungry. Yet, when a crisis happens, what happens to those who can not eat animal products? Forgetting the ethical issues a moment, what about those who are allergic to certain products? Telling a person who is allergic to lactose to drink milk and that "it'll be alright" isn't going to stop him or her from having an allergic reaction.

...If you were hungry, and someone was killed so that you could eat them, would you? No? Well now you know how many vegetarians and vegans (those who have became so for moral reasons) feel, as all lives are considered important to them. There's no such thing as "just" a cow - most vegetarians or vegans see a cow as a life, no less important than anyone else's. And just because they are hungry, or even starving, it doesn't mean they are going to abandon all their morals for a small meal. Nor should they be asked to.

So that's where this website comes in: http://www.veganvillage.co.uk/vegfam/ and this one: http://www.iskcon.org.uk/ffl/ (note: the websites use "pure vegetarian" to mean someone who is mostly vegan but still uses dairy produce, whereas most other people would use the word "pure vegetarian" usually refers to someone who is actually vegan)

Relieve stress - meditate

Develop your mind...

Well, after the previous rant, I've been reading around the internet and started to get a more positive outlook on life. And I know one thing that can help - meditation.

Sounds like hippy rubbish? Well maybe it does, but it isn't. I've tried it once using an audio file I found on the internet, and it definitely refreshed me and made me feel good (though there was a bit about fishing somewhere in it, so it was hard to get back my concentration after unintentionally thinking about animal cruelty).

Since then, I've began meditating more. And Buddhists do it and they seem pretty happy. I have noticed a difference (that post below would have been a lot worse before I started meditation) and I've only been practicing for a very short time. It doesn't have to be done all cross-legged with your arms outstreched, it can be done by lying on your bed or the floor (I personally find my floor more comfortable, don't ask why). Just close your eyes and clear your mind. Easier said than done? Well, try imagining a giant skip (that's "dumpster" for Americans) - the kind you throw rubbish into. Now imagine all your thoughts disappearing into the skip, then close the lid and get rid of the skip.

I couldn't even do that for a while, so I tried humming like they do on some T.V. programmes - it actually worked! I felt more peaceful and more refreshed. According to many sources, meditation can also give you a starting point for other amazing things, such as Astral Projection and self-healing.

Give it a go, at least once a day for a reasonable amount of time, for a week. I bet you'll be glad you did.

You all annoy me

That's right. ALL OF YOU. You beat people up because their skin colour is different. You ban piggybanks from certain banks because they "might" offend Muslims. You start wars because you believe your religion is the "right" religion and you want everyone else to join. You poke fun at people for being overweight, then laugh at them when they try to change. You insult thin people and think it's O.K. because "it's not like you're insulting an overweight person". You tell people what they should wear, and what they shouldn't wear. You laugh at males for playing netball or wearing miniskirts, and laugh at females for playing rugby or driving. You try to impose YOUR vies on everyone else, and mock anyone who doesn't conform. You call people "weird" and "freaks" for wearing gothic clothing when other people are not wearing it.

I am, of course, talking to... the idiots of this world. If you're not an idiot, this doesn't apply to you. If you think you're an idiot, you're probably not, so it doesn't apply to you either.

Well let's get a few things straight. Right here, right now. Outside in the car park if you want (just kidding).

People are born with skin colour. You can either believe people were created by God or by someone else, but the fact remains, they were born with skin colour and their skin colour is natural. It does not mean they are evil or robbers or scroungers. Sure, some are, but colour is irrelevant. There are plenty of black people who steal from the benefits agency, and there are plenty of white people who do the same.

Most Muslims are not offended by piggybanks in a society that is NOT predominantly Muslim. Perhaps more to the point, if I went to another country, I would accept (though I may disagree with) their customs as long as they are not harmful (there's a major difference between something being harmful and something being just offensive) or highly likely to be harmful. Just as people who enter this country should do. And for all the fuss that was caused, nobody even bothered asking Muslims what they thought before the piggybanks were removed. Yet it was supposed to be in their interests.

Nobody's religion is right. NOBODY'S. Because no matter how carefully-put-together your religious book is, whether the writer was told what to write by God or not, mistakes will have been made and will continue to be made, especially when translated. And you really think a peaceful, loving God would want you to start harming people to get them to join your religion? People won't join your religion because you killed their relatives. They won't support your religion because you decided to become a "martyr" by blowing up thousands of people. Even if what you did was revenge. And you seriously believe God is going to be happy with you for killing God's children? You need therapy.

Poking fun at someone who's overweight helps them become more overweight - it makes them depressed, and when they are depressed, they eat more. And if you want them to lose weight, laughing at them because they wobble when they go for a jog isn't going to help. It's going to hurt. A lot. Not to mention the fact that some people are overweight due o some sort of medical condition that has nothing to do with eating (yes some pretend, but there are those who are telling the truth out there. A friend of mine eats hardly anything but is still overweight. She's very cuddly, which is great cus I love cuddles but have to call them "hugs" now).

Insulting a thin person based on their weight is NOT alright. It hurts. I mean, REALLY hurts. Twig, lanky, stick insect, all insults and they feel even worse because people don't even seem to realise they are insults. Just because a person is happy being thin, it doesn't mean they are happy to be insulted about it.

And why does it matter to you what people wear? If someone wants to express their individual style, what fucking right have you got to tell them they shouldn't? We're not sheep, why should we all copy what others do?

And why shouldn't males play netball? Or women drive or play rugby? What's wrong with a person doing something that they enjoy? And why is it funny if they do? Because "it's silly" is a silly answer based on silly opinions. so is "because they look silly". Loads of people look silly doing different things, Dancing looks silly when you think about it, but plenty of people do it.
As for males wearing miniskirts, don't you realise that skirts were invented by men for men? And that even if that wasn't the case (which it is - research it), women wear clothing that was created for males, such as jeans, so it shouldn't matter if males decide to wear clothing that was created for females?

Don't you realise that it's not up to you to dictate how others live their lives if they are not harming anyone and are not highly likely o harm anyone? No, you don't realise that. Or any of this stuff.

Because you're an idiot.

Society of animal lovers? My backside!

The British public are often referred to as a nation of animal lovers. But if that's true, then why do we allow animal cruelty on television to go unpunished? Doing something with an animal or to an animal that clearly harms the animal, then putting "No animals were harmed in the making of this film" does not change the fact that the animal was harmed. Unless an animatronic (a realistic-looking electronic animal) was used, then if it looked like the animal in the film was hurt, then he/she probably was.

"You've Been Framed" is a very popular programme, which is strange when you consider the amount of animal cruelty involved and the fact we're supposedly a nation of animal lovers. It might be "monitored" by the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) but all that means is, since the films were made by private individuals and the RSPCA couldn't be live on set, all it means is they watch the T.V. show - just like other people do. So if something looks cruel to an animal, it almost certainly was. So doesn't that show that the RSPCA doesn't really care about animals? And that we're not a nation of animal lovers? And don't get me started on the amount of child cruelty in that T.V. programme - just how the heck is deliberately causing a child to do something painful for the sake of getting a bit of money from submitting your video of that cruelty, funny?

Ad then there's the ridiculous sentences handed out - people found guilty of animal cruelty given "conditional sentences", extremely low fines, or even nothing more than a temporary ban on keeping animals - so as soon as the ban's lifted, they have the ability to abuse animals again.

If we're a society of animal lovers then frogs are purple.






Do you think the British are a society of animal lovers, or do they hurt too many animals and get away with it too often?
They are a society of animal lovers
They hurt too many animals and get away with it too often
They hurt too many animals but they are given tough enough punishments
They are a society of animal lovers but only a few people harm animals and when they do, they get punished properly
I used to be a sparrow




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I thought I was intelligent...

My friend has given me something similar to a rubix cube to piece back together, but I didn't get a proper look at it while it was in one piece, so I'm finding it very difficult to piece back together. Nothing seems to slot properly! Erm... she just came over and told me something different from what she told me before. Apparently a part that she said goes first actually goes last. The things still won't slot! Dam this thing! Dam it! O.K. anyway today has been filled with a lot of sleep, hardly any eating, and some watching of the movie "Grease" (oh yeh and some dancing and singing to the songs in it). It's now about 9:40pm and I'm going to continue with the cube thingy... 9:45 approx and don't seem to be getting anywhere fast with the thing. 9:49 approximately: I think I might be about to... give up! I think I'll try meditating later

TODAY - 30/12/05 (through to 31/12/05)

Well, this is the first time I've created an online blog (I think).

Today (well, yesterday and today actually, as it's now Saturday Morning and I was awake sometime Friday Morning) has been a bit weird, but the weird stuff goes unmentioned for now. Maybe it never will be.

I've been trying to sort out my website to try to make money from it. I'm not going to advertise it yet because it still needs some changes. What's most annoying is that I don't seem to be able to find a job - they all seem to want someone with experience, but I can't get the experience until one of them gives me a bloody job. What pisses me off even more is that I'm probably worth about ten of their "experienced" employees who don't really care that their employer needs them to do a reasonable standard of work for there to be any point in employing them. So if someone out there can give me a job, give me a call eh?

Well I'll stop moaning about not having a job now. I'd moan about the world but it's too depressing. So here's a song I wrote to a friend, but I haven't actually shown it her (yet?). I could do with a hug now actually :-( ...Well here it is:

Sometimes I feel
Like I've done something wrong
You seem to treat me differently
I don't know what's goin' on

My mind get all messed up
My head gets all confused
It feels like you don't want to know me any more

I get so confuzzled

On the outside I seem happy
But I'm hurting inside
I feel so unloved
I just want a hug
I really need to cry

Sometimes
Usually when I'm upset
My head stops working properly and I think like a child
I don't know how to explain it except it feels like I'm around ten years old again

So to make myself feel better
I buy loads of soya chocolate even if I can't afford it

I feel so unloved
I just want a hug
I really need to cry

I could be so upset or even suicidal
But there's one thing that can make me feel better
And that's a hug

No matter how bad I'm feeling
A hug makes me feel so much better

Even when my heart is bleeding
A hug makes me feel so much better

I just want a hug

 
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